Fear & Loading: Remember That Ugly Holiday Sweater?

by
posted on December 4, 2017
** When you buy products through the links on our site, we may earn a commission that supports NRA's mission to protect, preserve and defend the Second Amendment. **
fl_ugly-sweater.jpg

We all have at least one, or possibly a half-dozen ugly holiday sweaters. Tucked in the corner of the closet, they wear labels with the name of the person who gave them to you, a reminder to put it on before they make their annual visit to present you with that home-baked fruitcake del muerto—the same knife-dulling slab you tossed into the trash can last year before a stray mutt decided it was a buffet, resulting in animal cruelty charges that were only dismissed in October.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s thoughtful and a lovely gesture. As an added bonus, it does get the rest of the family in the spirit during your MMA-style grudge match with a turtleneck shrunk in the wash to toddler size.

Wear it to the store—even Walmart—and it’s the kind of fashion statement that’d make cell-block C proud. It increases your situational awareness, too, because brush too close to a candle and there’s a good chance the frayed ends will turn you into an instant Roman candle.

5.11 Tactical has the answer if your work, or family, has a mandatory ugly holiday sweater tradition. You won’t need to label this one, because you’re bound to remember the generosity of someone with this kind of taste.

The company calls it the “Ugly Holiday Sweater,” although it’s really a thing of beauty. The snowman is armed with an M-4 topped with what looks like an ACOG, tactical vest, helmet and comms. How he’s talking intelligibly on the radio with that pipe in his mouth is beyond me—cigar maybe, but a pipe? The color combo is ideal camo for those secret Santa parties in which you wish you were invisible. Simply stand up against the nearest fully decorated Christmas tree, and no one will know you’re there.

His six is covered by what looks like M-16-carrying silhouettes , and there’s air support just in case things get sporty at the office party. Snowflakes on the pattern will be a hit with some on your staff—you know who we’re talking about, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

5.11 Tactical also has an “Ugly Holiday Tee” for $24.99 for warmer climates, layering or casual wear. On both, the guy on point always stays frosty, even when things go from bad to worse. MSRP for the sweater is only $49.99, hundreds less than the average animal cruelty fine, by the way.

Latest

Gotw Rra Lar 22 Tactical Carbine Web
Gotw Rra Lar 22 Tactical Carbine Web

Gun Of The Week: Rock River Arms LAR-22 Tactical Carbine

This week, we're on the range with the Rock River Arms LAR-22 Tactical Carbine, a rimfire variant of the AR-15 that's designed for reliability and gives enthusiasts a way to shoot affordably.

The Armed Citizen® July 11, 2025

Read today's "The Armed Citizen" entry for real stories of law-abiding citizens, past and present, who used their firearms to save lives.

Japanese Last-Ditch Small Arms Of World War II

The crude assortment of fighting tools used by the Japanese during World War II give clues of an unprepared and unmatched last-ditch fight that ultimately lead to Allied victory.

Federal Ammunition Awards 2025 Tom Knapp Memorial Scholarships

Federal Ammunition recently awarded the 2025 Tom Knapp Memorial Scholarships to two 4-H shooting sports teen ambassadors.

2025 Optic Of The Year: Burris Eliminator 6

Even as new generation after new generation of Burris Eliminator continued to add more advanced technology and functionality, it remained odd-looking—until the launch of this year’s sixth-generation product, which is the first in the line that can mount atop a rifle using standard 34 mm scope rings.

I Have This Old Gun: Star Model B

Of the many Spanish-made firearms to emerge throughout the 19th and 20th century, one of the most recognizable is the Star Model B, largely due to its similarity to the Colt Model 1911.

Interests



Get the best of American Rifleman delivered to your inbox.