If U.S. gun manufacturers squared off in NCAA basketball tournament fashion, BATFE’s Annual Firearms Manufacturing and Export Report would, undoubtedly, be the selection committee’s bible. The 2014 edition was recently released, and here’s how the hypothetical semi-automatic pistol bracket shapes up for that year. Note the numbers are for total pistol production in 2014. The guns depicted below are for illustration only.
No. 1 seed Smith & Wesson (914,700*) vs. No. 16 seed Diamondback (42,901*) Smith & Wesson’s coach has the luxury of a bench so deep that he rotates players faster than a ceiling fan. That’ll wear down the reptiles, but the Diamondbacks have a history of striking unexpectedly.
No. 2 Ruger (722,263*) vs. No. 15 Kahr Arms (59,346*) Kahr’s high-speed lineup will be hurt by Ruger’s flawless game in the paint. The underdog’s best chance is to push the pace and keep center Desert Eagle out of foul trouble.
No. 3 SIG Sauer (433,905*) vs. No. 14 Browning (64,131*) Expect SIG to advance, although Browning (Arms Technology) has the kind of record and lineup that can leave a mark on any foe this season.
No. 4 Glock (232,324*) vs. No. 13 Springfield Armory (64,189*) The Vegas line on this matchup is heavy toward Glock, but Springfield brings some solid frames to the key and its nimble bench should turn this into the tournament’s first real nail biter.
No. 5 Kimber (124,298*) vs. No. 12 Remington (65,762*) PARA USA (57,539) transferred too late to play for Remington this year, and without the extra starter big green is limited in height to run the baseline.
No. 6 Colt’s Manufacturing (91,595*) vs. No. 11 SCCY (69,049*) There’s a lot going on in the Colt clubhouse and it could show on court. Expect this year’s reinvigorated SCCY to fly away with this one in overtime.
No. 7 Hi-Point (90,100*) vs. No. 10 Kel-Tec (78,471*) Hi-Point’s unusual lineup is its best offensive weapon, but if Kel-Tec runs its game plan, don’t be surprised if there’s another upset.
No. 8 Beretta USA (88,980*) vs. No. 9 Taurus (84,249*) The winner can be judged in the first five minutes of the game. If Beretta’s 3-point storm starts early, it’s lights out for Taurus. The ending’s different if the underdog is effective in that curved pick-and-roll route we saw in the conference championships.
*Semi-automatic pistols manufactured by the manufacturer, according to the 2014 BATFE Annual Firearms Manufacturing and Export Report