Fear & Loading: Remember That Ugly Holiday Sweater?

by
posted on December 4, 2017
** When you buy products through the links on our site, we may earn a commission that supports NRA's mission to protect, preserve and defend the Second Amendment. **
fl_ugly-sweater.jpg

We all have at least one, or possibly a half-dozen ugly holiday sweaters. Tucked in the corner of the closet, they wear labels with the name of the person who gave them to you, a reminder to put it on before they make their annual visit to present you with that home-baked fruitcake del muerto—the same knife-dulling slab you tossed into the trash can last year before a stray mutt decided it was a buffet, resulting in animal cruelty charges that were only dismissed in October.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s thoughtful and a lovely gesture. As an added bonus, it does get the rest of the family in the spirit during your MMA-style grudge match with a turtleneck shrunk in the wash to toddler size.

Wear it to the store—even Walmart—and it’s the kind of fashion statement that’d make cell-block C proud. It increases your situational awareness, too, because brush too close to a candle and there’s a good chance the frayed ends will turn you into an instant Roman candle.

5.11 Tactical has the answer if your work, or family, has a mandatory ugly holiday sweater tradition. You won’t need to label this one, because you’re bound to remember the generosity of someone with this kind of taste.

The company calls it the “Ugly Holiday Sweater,” although it’s really a thing of beauty. The snowman is armed with an M-4 topped with what looks like an ACOG, tactical vest, helmet and comms. How he’s talking intelligibly on the radio with that pipe in his mouth is beyond me—cigar maybe, but a pipe? The color combo is ideal camo for those secret Santa parties in which you wish you were invisible. Simply stand up against the nearest fully decorated Christmas tree, and no one will know you’re there.

His six is covered by what looks like M-16-carrying silhouettes , and there’s air support just in case things get sporty at the office party. Snowflakes on the pattern will be a hit with some on your staff—you know who we’re talking about, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

5.11 Tactical also has an “Ugly Holiday Tee” for $24.99 for warmer climates, layering or casual wear. On both, the guy on point always stays frosty, even when things go from bad to worse. MSRP for the sweater is only $49.99, hundreds less than the average animal cruelty fine, by the way.

Latest

Taurus Expedition Rifleman Review 1
Taurus Expedition Rifleman Review 1

Rifleman Review: Taurus Expedition

Taurus entered the bolt-action rifle market with its Expedition, a Remington 700-pattern design that's built to be versatile and affordable.

New For 2025: Charter Arms Pathfinder II

Charter Arms updated one of the oldest models in its lineup with the new Pathfinder II, which features a lightweight 7075 aluminum frame, making it more well-balanced and easier to carry.

Review: Kimber 2K11

The 2011-style pistol was designed to address the capacity limitations of the single-stack M1911 platform, and Kimber's approach to the concept is its 2K11, a competition-ready offering with several notable features.

Favorite Firearms: A High-Flying Hi-Standard “A-D”

Manufactured in New Haven, Conn., in late 1940, this Hi-Standard pistol was shipped as a Model “A,” but a heavier Model “D” barrel was installed later to replace the original, light barrel, leading one American Rifleman reader to call it a Model “A-D.”

Ruger Helps Families In Need Through The Kids & Clays Foundation

In the effort to help tens of thousands of critically ill children and their families across the nation through local Ronald McDonald Houses, Ruger is among some of the industry’s foremost Platinum-level sponsors of The Kids & Clays Foundation.

Unlocking The Future: Smith & Wesson's "No Lock" Revolvers

The future is shaping up to be a good one for fans of Smith & Wesson revolvers. The iconic American company had released 14 new models thus far in 2025 at the time this was written mid-year. And, with one exception, they have all shared a common feature—no internal lock.

Interests



Get the best of American Rifleman delivered to your inbox.