Stand and Deliver (Your Lines)
Making movies is the art of stuffing a 3-dimensional world into a 2-dimensional format to create a convincing optical illusion. At the heart of all good filming is the proper use of camera angles. Unfortunately, the layout of the real world and the way people move through it isn't conducive to good camera work. So, the directors and actors throw out common sense behavior in favor of movements and poses that look nifty on screen.
The director orders a tight close up of the hero's face but he needs to show the pistol as well. Let's have the actor move his pistol from a realistic low-ready position and hold it up near his or her face with the muzzle pointed at the ceiling. There, that looks much better on camera. A trained soldier would crouch down behind protective cover to return fire. But we can't see Mr. Schwarzenegger's pectorals popping when he's hunkered down behind that garden wall. Tell him to stand up nice and tall so we can see him clearly. The screen play reaches a critical moment where any normal person would run for it, but having the actor run would make him look like a sissy. We’ll maintain his tough-guy image by having him casually stroll through the hail of bullets…. Are you getting the big picture?
Don’t Stand There—Shoot
This is probably the most aggravating reoccurring self-defense scene in all of movieland and a complete insult to women. Julia, a beautiful young wife, is home all alone while her husband is out saving the city. She steps gently, barefoot and vulnerable, to her bed to lie down for a night's rest. Suddenly, the Serial Killer appears in her doorway and unleashes his evil laugh! Julia shrieks! The murderer steps closer. Julia reaches into her night stand and pulls out a cocked-and-locked Para USA 14-45 1911 .45 ACP pistol. Releasing the safety, Julia levels the pistol at the advancing maniac’s center of mass. The Serial Killer stops, holds up his hands and begins to talk quietly to the frightened woman.
With 15 rounds of 230-grain +P hollow points aimed and ready to fire at the most dangerous psychopath the city has ever known, Julia chooses to listen. As the Serial Killer slowly advances, describing everything from the atrocities he has perpetrated to the bagel and coffee he had for breakfast that morning, Julia melts into a quivering, whimpering lump of Jello. With just one more step, the Serial Killer reaches out and gently lifts the powerful semi-auto from Julia's trembling fingers and gives her a knowing smile.
Are you kidding me? The women I know who practice legal concealed carry would never allow this kind of victimization to take place. They have developed the proper defensive mindset. While these wonderful wives and mothers have no desire to harm anyone, they are mentally prepared and properly armed to stand up to a threat if one arises. Statistics show that more women are choosing to go armed and to participate in defensive training than ever before. If assailants don’t want to become a statistic themselves, it’s time for them to take up another occupation.
With all of the silliness surrounding guns and shooters in big-budget movies, no action flick would be complete without including at least one Magical Bullet special effect. We have Ol’ Sparky, the lead handgun slug that produces a shower of sparks when it strikes a metallic surface near one of the characters. Then there’s the rocket-propelled grenade (RPG) pistol bullet. This round will turn any humble vehicle with a gas tank into a raging inferno. But the most worrisome bullet effect in movies, from a self-defense perspective, is the complete lack of a special effect. It could be called the Evaporating Bullet. These are the rounds fired into various environments and objects without producing any impact results at all.